


Write It Down

by Aliyah_Faith



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 18:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliyah_Faith/pseuds/Aliyah_Faith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ive been writing a lot of Mpreg lately, oops?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Write It Down

If you want to find something, you're supposed to stop looking for it and it’ll pop up. Just like when you want something, you're supposed to stop asking for it and stop trying to get it, and it'll come to you. At least that's what Niall had been told countless times in the past year. He had spent days in the doctors’ offices frowning and sighing, sliding off the table and laying his head on Josh's shoulder as they walked out. He wanted a baby. Male pregnancy was rare, but not unheard of, and there was a pretty good chance that it could happen. When Josh had first said something, it was right after a show, they were sitting on the bus, Niall was laid back against Josh's chest, crooked on the couch, watching TV. Josh had just carded his hand through Nialls hair and brought up the idea of kids. They had been together officially for three years, they eloped in Vegas almost two years ago. And it felt right. The tour was coming to an end, and then they had a fair amount of down time. Niall spent the next day thinking about it before he agreed fully. The next year was spent trying, with no luck. Niall had broken and gone into the doctor, trying a new drug, with a few months of that, and no results. He gave up all together. He cried onto Josh’s shoulder more nights than not, angry at himself, upset that he couldn’t give Josh what he wanted, to which Josh would just smile and kiss the tears away, stating that Niall gave him what he wanted just by smiling at him early in the mornings and cuddling closer at night. After a few more months Niall had nearly forgotten about it, and tried to stop cooing and feeling the pang of guilt each time they passed a child on the street and Josh would wave to it. And then it happened.

Niall had gone into the doctors for his yearly check-up, they asked him for a urine sample and came back holding a piece of paper and wary faces. Niall laughed when they told him, harder than he had laughed before. And then he paused, his eyes widening as they handed the paper with the results. His jaw dropped and he felt the air escape his lungs. It was real, written in front of him in black and white. He slid off of the table and ran, faster than he had ever run in his life. He ran to the car, he drove the familiar streets back to the flat, barely remembered to lock his car and look both ways before he darted across the road and into the building. He couldn’t wait for the lift so he slid past people and ran up the steps, gripping his keys in one hand and the paper in the other. He got the door opened and didn’t bother shutting it behind him or taking his shoes off as he screamed for Josh, running into the kitchen, and then the living room, to find him. Moments later a sleepy looking Josh filled the hallway from the bedroom to the living room, in nothing but a pair of white boxers (that may or may not have been Nialls) and an alert but just woken up face.

“Whats going on?” He asked, scrubbing a hand over his face and sliding his eyes up and down Nialls body, checking for any major bodily harm. Niall just stood by the TV in the room clutching the paper like it was the only thing keeping him alive, his eyes wide and wild looking, mouth gaped slightly and a small smile tugging at the side. Josh lifted an eyebrow and stepped forward, worry welling up inside of him at the look on Nialls face. He reached out slowly and pulled the paper from Nialls grip, he unfolded it and rubbed the sleep from his eyes again, he read through it a few times, and then his eyebrows crinkled together and his eyes skimmed the page. He looked at Niall and then back to the page, his lips separating as his jaw dropped and he glanced up again, face mirroring Nialls expression. “Oh my god…You're pregnant” He spoke, a smile broke on his face and he wrapped his arms around Niall, who immediately jumped, lifting his legs around Josh and smiling so big his cheeks hurt. Josh laughed and gripped Niall close, cheering and jumping in the middle of the living area. Niall just laughed and slid his hands into Josh’s hair, pressing a kiss to his lips. It was a moment that would never be forgotten, it was the first thing written in their daughters baby book.

The second thing was when they first felt her move. Niall was five months along, and he felt shifting sometimes but never anything really serious, the doctors weren’t concerned because she had a good heartbeat and looked healthy at all other aspects. Josh was doing what all of the other boys had teased him about, but he still did it without a care because he wanted her to know who he was. He was kissing around Nialls stomach, talking in a soft voice, rubbing the sides, and doing anything he could to stay close to the two. They were lying in bed and Josh had shifted so he had his head resting on the curve of Nialls stomach. He spoke of how he and Niall had met; he talked about everything from their first date to their wedding. Niall just smiled fondly and slid his hands through Josh’s hair, feeling his heart soar, within moments he felt a sharp jab in his stomach, then another, and then one more. His eyes snapped open fully and he flew his hand down by Josh’s head, resting it on his stomach. Josh's head lifted and his wide eyes mirrored as a smile came to his face and he laid his head back down. Josh slept that night in that position, head on the top of Nialls stomach, mostly on his chest, and his hand firmly placed on his stomach. The next day Niall grabbed the book and scribbled down the date and vivid detail of the excitement that had etched itself across Josh’s face.

The third page Niall had filled out was the baby shower page. He had planned to skip it, claiming he seriously didn’t want anything like a baby shower. Josh seemed to agree, until Niall walked in the door one day, whining that his feet hurt and he was never letting Louis take him baby shopping again, when He noticed the pink and white balloons and the room full of smiling people and presents in front of him, Louis bursting at the seams with excitement and holding the bags of baby stuff by him. It ended up being a great night. There was cake that tasted like it had drops of heaven in it, tons of belly touching, and a night full of them all sitting around and telling stories from their past and predictions of their futures. Zayn had smashed a piece of cake into Liam's face and Liam's expression turned from laughing to a puppy that had just been kicked. Niall had never laughed harder in his life. With the new crib and other gifts that were bought from him sat unwrapped, the wrapping paper and bows all over the floor, Niall settled into Josh’s arms in the chair and fell asleep, vowing to clean up in the morning. He woke up in bed, alone. The blankets tucked around him and a loud banging coming from down the hall. He stood and yawned, walking down and into the living room, and then the kitchen. All of it had been cleaned, even vacuumed. He smiled and headed back down the hall, poking his head into the spare room, immediately smiling at the sight in front of him; Josh had a pout on his face as he sat in the middle of the room, the pieces of the crib laying around him on the ground, a screwdriver in one hand and the instructions in the other. The bed and dresser had been taken out of the spare room, and the walls had been painted pink. Josh looked tired, and so cute as he looked up and a pout slid to his face.

“No no no…this was supposed to be done and set up before you woke up.. I got everything but the crib..Because I cant get it and they didn’t label which part was A and which was B… and…I just.. I..” His voice trailed off and he looked around the room, which had a baby dresser, changing table, and a little organizer Harry had bought put up on the wall, for her diapers, wipes, and other things like that. On the ground was a fully assembled baby swing and a rocking chair in the corner. Niall let the smile slide to his face and he held his arms out. Josh had stayed up all night for this.

“C’mon…come back ‘t bed…It is a surprise, and we can finish the crib later…” He spoke, they got back into bed and Josh pulled him close, falling asleep immediately. Niall shifted away from him and grabbed the book, scribbling down the details so that she would always know that she was loved by not only Niall and the guys, but Josh too. The next few months Niall had filled out the smaller things, the family tree page, the possible name page (they had a ton of names, but none that they could settle on) but the major thing was the labor and delivery, and the baby’s first days home. Niall stared at the page in anticipation, hand itching to grab a pen and scribble down the details, but days passed and they still had a month left before he was supposed to go in for a scheduled one. So he waited, watching the book that sat on the dresser. But things never happened when they were supposed to in Nialls life.

“Are you sure you’ll be ok?” Josh asked, worry etched across his face as he held Niall close to him. Niall just smiled, wishing he could press his whole body closer, but his stomach got in the way. Josh was heading back home for a few days to help his mom move houses. He tried to tell her no, but Niall insisted he go. And he tried to get Niall to come with, but Nialls in his third trimester and can’t fly. So he was stuck going.

“I’ll be fine, we’ll be fine…go. Give your mum a kiss for me and call me when the plane lands.. I love you” He spoke, Josh just smiled and pressed one last kiss to Nialls lips and rubbed his stomach before turning and boarding the plane. Niall just smiled and waved before he slid his hands into the front of his sweatshirt pocket, holding his stomach. He waited until the plane was in the air to walk out and slide into the car to head home, a smile playing on his face. He got out, telling his security guard to go home because he was home and wasn’t leaving, most likely for a few days, getting a little bit annoyed when the guard shook his head and told him he was going to assist him inside. Niall just sighed and nodded, turning to cross the street. He should have been used to having the security with him constantly after four years, but with his emotions he found himself more and more annoyed with not being able to have a moment to himself. He was grateful for the guard at that moment though, Niall had waddled across the street and onto the sidewalk, careful to avoid all patches of ice, when he took a step up to get into the building and pain shot across his stomach. He yelped and his body crumbled, being caught before he hit the ground. The rest was a blur. The guy pressing his phone to his ear and Niall pressing his hands to his stomach gently, trying to find out where the pain was and silently praying Josh had for some reason and somehow got the plane to turn around. There was an ambulance there in seconds and the reality of what was happening sunk in. There was something wrong and happening with his baby. The pains weren’t contractions; he wouldn’t have them with a male pregnancy, which was why they had a set C-section date. The whole ride he yelled that they needed to call Josh, he cried and panicked, ignoring anything they were telling him because he couldn’t think straight. All he knew was that he was losing the baby, maybe she was already dead. He cried harder, they got him into a room immediately and the guard repeated many times that Josh wasn’t answering his phone because he was on the plane still. Niall just groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, unable to believe his luck. The doctors rushed in, stripping his sweatshirt, checking his levels and hooking him up to an iv, they placed monitors around him and checked the baby, speaking things back and forth that he didn’t fully understand. Finally the nurse slid up to him, brushing his hair back from his forehead in an attempt to calm him.

“Its ok,” she started, voice calm, Niall almost laughed and screamed at her that it wasn’t because his husband was three hours away on a plane. “We are taking you in to an emergency C-section right now, I'm going to prep you and we will rush you in. I need you to stay calm, ok?” She spoke. The next few hours were a blur. The drugs they gave him were good, and quick working. He faintly remembered the room, and the doctors talking. He remembered the nurse showing him a flash of baby but he was so far out of it he doesn’t remember a thing. He does remember waking up the next day though, body sore, legs still a little bit numb. And a silent room accompanied by sniffling.

“I'm sorry…” was muttered repeatedly. “My god, Niall..Im sorry… I should have stayed.. I should have known better..” followed the sniffling, on repeat. Niall just let out a low groan and shifted.

“Stop apologizing…or ‘ll have ya kicked out…” He murmured, letting his eyes open. They focused after a few seconds on Josh’s tear soaked face. Josh jumped immediately out of his chair and bent, carefully hugging Niall as tight as he could. Niall smiled slightly but panicked as he realized where he was, the iv sticking out of his hand and the dull ache in his stomach which told him there was no longer a baby in there. His breath hitched as the blur of memories rushed back. “She…where is she?” He asked. Josh pulled away instantly, a smile etching onto his face as he rubbed his arm to wipe his cheeks.

“You did so good, baby..Shes fine. She's got your eyes, and a loud little set of lungs for an infant..Shes got a tough little personality already, only a half a day old and she rolled her eyes at me already, I swear it…The doctor has her now, just checking her. Then they are bringing her back. You were out for a while, but you're fine too…The nurse that administered the drugs gave you too much, and I’ve been sure to complain about it…but at least you're both okay. Oh my god Niall I’ve never hated myself more.. I just got off the plane and turned on my phone and I got the thousands of voicemails and hopped right back on the plane…I'm so glad you're okay..” He spoke as he wrapped Niall back in a hug.

A few days later Niall found himself padding back into the room, shaking a bottle to mix up the formula and pausing in the doorway to let the fond smile slide back to his face. Josh laid on his back on the bed, asleep, with Emilie on her stomach, head on his chest, mouth gaped and eyes shut, asleep, tiny body resting still, like she wasn’t just hungry ten minutes ago. Niall set the bottle down and grabbed his pen and the baby book, he walked out to the living room and turned on the lamp, sitting and uncapping the pen. He wrote. He filled in both pages with what memories he remembered. He wrote about Josh, and the mishap with the formula cans spilling all over, he wrote about Josh freaking out while trying to give her a bath that night, and he wrote how she slept best cuddled against bare skin, particularly Nialls, because she was accustomed to his heartbeat. He wrote until he heard the wail from the bedroom telling him that she had woken up and realized she was hungry. He smiled at the sound and set the book down, shutting off the light and heading back down the hall, playing with the ring on his finger. He wrote all of her key moments from before birth to age 18 in that book, after he ran out of room he started attaching notebook pages in the back. No matter how far she got from home, she would always have that, and never doubt for a second that she was loved.


End file.
